we don’t fear growing old, being hurt, or dying. we fear loneliness. we fear a loss of emotion, a lack of meaning. it’s our disease. it’s what drives us to greater and greater extremes… all in hopes that we can feel something real. just as an addict continues to delve deeper and deeper into his medicine chasing after the feeling of a first-time-high. in both cases, we search for something that can never again be attained.